You see, as you can probably tell from my last blog, I've fallen off the map recently. I took a sort of "hiatus" from daily communication, as my life suddenly began to ramp up into overdrive...well beyond "full steam ahead." For two years, I have prayed that God would open the door to graduate school, of course, if it was HIS will for my life. Sure enough, on February 9th, I received an acceptance letter from my top choice university. Just several hours later, the man of my dreams asked me to be his wife. Within a 24 hour period, my life was seemingly "falling into place." So why wasn't I happy?
Well, the truth is, circumstances never bring us full and total joy. Happiness is definitely circumstantial. Take for instance my extreme giddiness that has continued following this momentous day. However, joy, as my mother once defined it, is the deep settled confidence of knowing that God is in control. I started to see the pieces come together in my life, but I forgot to acknowledge the Puzzle Maker.
While taking a walk around the lake outside of my new home...which I adore and feel privileged to own...I listened to a new version of "Amazing Grace." In between the stanzas, the artist sings about God's grace falling on us like the rain does from the sky. During the first chorus, the skies opened up, and it began to rain heavily. I kept walking and experiencing total joy as each drop fell on my skin and washed away the worries, fears, and troubles of my past. I soaked in the damp air, and allowed my heart to receive the truth God had in that song. Only experiencing HIS full and perfect love allows us to relish in the blessings He has before us. Only when we acknowledge our inability to perfectly love and cling to Jesus' perfect adoration of the Father can we let go...and let Him.