surrender to belief.

in the first week of 2013, i launched head first into intention, heartfelt and committed to identifying one word - only one - that would remain my focus and grounding force throughout the year. i spent hours in the thick of my journal, heavy handed with a black pen and determined to uncover the layers of God's purpose for that year. a couple hours into the process, bold font - like the glaring headline of a newspaper - flashed across my mind. the letters came together as if pulled from the very center of my soul (because that is how He writes...)

surrender.

as my pen strokes spelled the word onto paper, my voice muttered it out loud. with the sound of it echoing from my heart, i experienced anxiety...eagerness...peace...and freedom............all at once. 

surrender.

He called me into a year of surrender, one filled with poignant moments that caused me to lean on His truth and rely on His provision. one that revealed my doubting nature and created a trusting heart. one marked with spectacular adventure and epic love stories. one that will be reminisced upon and journaled about for years to come....

because i chose to surrender control of my own life and rest in the grace of the One Who created mine.

so here i am again, this time with an open heart to receive what He has for the year to come. this time, hearing that word didn't take hours. it barely took minutes. He used the voice of an incredible friend to speak some truth into my life. as she shared her heart, i could hear His for me. 

that with which He has filled me is enough. that with which He has designed me is good. that which He has set for me to have is plenty. that which He has called me to do will happen. He has clearly called me into a new year, and all He's asked of me...

"My child, believe." 

"Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure." -Psalm 16:5

an ocean view

humanness. it's a simple concept, and yet we add layers of complexity that ultimately cloud the very essence of the word.

grammatically speaking, adding "ness" to a word turns it into "the state of..." so humanness, simply put, is the state of being human.

and yet, in how many different states do we find ourselves - on any given day?


joyful | sorrowful
energized | exhausted
certain | perplexed
committed | detached
full | empty
surrounded | alone


you get the drift. that list is endless, therefore creating a seemingly shifting environment of our own humanity. we are changing. evolving. adapting. growing. we start at point a and scramble to find point b. we set a lofty goal and create action steps towards achievement. our responses change. our emotions shift. and encompassed in all of that is our humanness.

there's that word again. but this time, it lands differently for me. why? because in examining the ebbs and flows of my own journey, i see the bigger picture...finally, i can lift my eyes from the sand bar in front of me - you know, that one that sometimes darkens as the water rises and other times is a soft space to land and rest. it's been my marker of where i am in my life. am i succeeding? am i growing? am i developing a specific skill set or building authentic relationships? tonight, i'm peeling my eyes away from the false marker on which my eyes have been fixed, and i'm repositioning my heart and my sight on what's in front of me: an expansive ocean, one with no end point on the left or right, and just a horizon creating its boundary in the distance. in this space - this epic, massive, infinite space - i see beauty, power, strength, unpredictability...and it's complete.

just as our humanness is complete.

we are created by a Masterful Artist, the One who - before the start of time - created me with each and every element of "ness." within me, He instilled vision, connection, passion, and a heart that can't beat for anything other than massive, earth shattering love. throughout my life, i've acknowledged the changing waves of my journey - some with gratitude and some with regret - all reliant on the "ness" of that specific time. today, i choose a new perspective: radical acceptance of the journey in its entirety. today i choose the ocean.