It's an easy dash of encouragement to offer. It's much more difficult to follow. In trusting God's sovereignty over my life, I never know what He's going to ask of me....what He will bring me to...what we will face in this life to refocus total reliance on Him. Moreover, I wrestle with how to trust Him. (I'm the girl that wants a 10 step checklist and a very clear how-to guide!) While no one has handed me a guide, everyone insists on the same piece of advice when life throws a curve ball: trust Him.
The last several weeks, I've sensed a real stirring in my heart. I know - in the back of my mind - that He is preparing me for something. Of course, in my true nature that tends towards wanting all the control, I have desperately searched for what that something is. At one point, I became so lost in my thoughts, that while driving from one meeting to another, I ended up on the wrong highway - actually lost - on a highway I've traveled for years. And there - in my own inability to map a perfect course, He met me with the answer on how to trust Him, and painted a true picture of the walk I'm on.
I pulled into a gas station to fuel up, find my bearings, and get back on course. While waiting on a receipt from the cashier, a couple walking together caught my attention. I saw him first - hunched over, walking slowly and just barely moving his feet...no more than an inch at a time. She stood upright beside him, eyes fixed ahead with commitment, patience, and compassion. As the two drew near to the door, I noticed his eyes - glassy and pointed downward. He was completely blind. Noises from the highway and a busy parking lot swirled around us. A car honked, and he grew anxious. Yet, the woman leading the way walked steadfast and directed. He clung tightly to her arm, and she said nothing. She whispered quietly "one step up," and placed her hand on top of is..as if to say "we're here. Rest." His body language shifted and his demeanor relaxed. He was lead to safety, navigated by another through a myriad of obstacles he couldn't see. And yet he walked. Step by step, he trusted the guidance of another - someone who spoke rarely, but to whom he clung tightly.
In their walk to the doorway, I saw myself. Blind to the dangers that surround me, unaware of what tomorrow holds. And yet I dare not walk alone. My God needs not speak to me. Instead, I cling only to His name - to His strong hand that molded me, and leads me still.
That is how I trust. That is how we trust. We hold on tight...and walk.
